To Sex It Up or Not…

I know this is a personal preference, but I am just curious to hear other people’s opinion on the subject of writing sex scenes. Should you only do this in the Erotic Romance or Erotica genres or can we include some sex in our more serious novels?

Personal preference for my reading, is sex scenes definitely make the book more appealing. But I worry that anything I write these days will be compared to Fifty Shades. I mean, really, we would all love to have the sales that Fifty Shades has had, but I am not holding my breath. πŸ™‚

So, this is my thought for the day. Please share your opinions of what you think about sexing up your writing. Too much? Not enough? Maybe smaller scenes more often through the book or one big one?

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23 thoughts on “To Sex It Up or Not…

  1. Good question. I had a short story that had more than a kiss, kiss, bit to it and a trusted reviewer friend said it made him think it was turning the story into porn. It was far from a romance, sex story. But it was a crucial scene to explain one big reason why the woman fell so completely for the man. And I wonder if it made people uncomfortable because we were all sitting in a group, reading our work out loud. Know what I mean? Would it have been okay if they were reading it on their own in the privacy of their homes?
    Aside from that, I’ve read books where the couples are ALWAYS going at it and after awhile I think, Okay, I get it, they’re hot for each other, spare me anymore sex scenes.
    I agree, sex, or the hint of people doing more than just sleeping, isn’t a bad thing. Especially if it fits the character, explains something about them, (faithful, afraid, wild, etc.)… and it is real. Sex is a very real part of normal, human life, but just like a lot of life, it’s up to you how much of the everyday to put into your story.

  2. I think it really just depends on what you are writing. If it fits into the story and it makes sense sex it up!!! I don’t think a writer should throw a sex scene in their story just to have one though πŸ™‚

  3. As a reader, I prefer to NOT have everything laid out before me. I like for an author to let me fill in some blanks and use my own imagination.
    As a writer, I find I like the build up much more than the act.

  4. Wow my first visit to your blog and….
    All the above comments are valid I think. Sex is a part of life and why not express it in the story-line but I think it’s how far you go in your description that is the main factor. The language & details will obviously determine the leaning the scene will take. Me? I like it subtle (like holligqueener). These old grey cells need a workout now and then and with all the visual stimuli laying everything out for us these days a book is the only exercise my mind seems to get.
    Thanks for the ‘like’ & ‘follow’…great post and I shall tag along from now on…
    Mike

  5. As a reader, for me personally, its all about the chemistry between the characters more than the act itself. Its definitely all about the build up and subtlety. πŸ™‚

  6. I agree with the “less is more” approach. I think there are ways to build tension and chemistry without needing to go all “porno”. Sometimes having them turn off the lights can be much hotter than a play by play. I think it’s also tricky to write sex scenes because rarely do all your readers get turned on by reading about the same things.. But subtlety can be interpreted by each reader which makes the scene effective… That’s what I think anyway πŸ™‚

  7. Here’s my two cents- depending on what you are writing, you may find that sex is crucial to character growth. Some people are good with words or actions. Sometimes sex is the ultimate form of trust (maybe submission is some cases) and connection. The sex is more than the act when written right. It’s almost a chart or dance of relationship escalation. It also opens the door for a ton of self-realization.
    Sex can drive a scene but better, it should always drive the story.

  8. I personally think that a little steam is good if it helps the story progress or fits the story naturally. I’ve read stories where the ‘sex’ seems to be added gratuitously and I’ve read stories where it would seem natural and it’s left out of the story. I think that it has to fit both for the story and the writer.

  9. Personally, I get annoyed when a sex scene pops up in one of my books. I don’t think it adds to the story, and it seems like the writer just slapped it in there just because.
    Of course, most books I read nowadays fall under the zombie/ apocalyptic and science fiction/ fantasy genres. πŸ™‚
    Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind sex scenes when they are properly placed. I used to read Anais Nin when I was younger. πŸ˜‰

    • It is true, they can catch me off guard if it just doesn’t belong there. I wouldn’t say that I ever get annoyed though. Unless of course it was zombies, and that would just be weird. lol (are you a fan of the Walking Dead tv show?)

      • No. I watched the first season and was so utterly disappointed by the last few episodes. I’ve been reading the books for years now, and the books are awesome.

        Yeah, it is weird. πŸ™‚ I’m reading along and then all of a sudden out of nowhere there’s a cheesy sex scene. I’m thinking, “What the hell?! Really?” So I skim through and get back to the carnage.

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